Ravens Sleepwalk Past Vikings 13-3 as Preseason Under Cashes Easy

The Ravens trudged into Minneapolis and squeezed out a 13-3 preseason snoozefest that played out exactly as advertised—vanilla, conservative, and about as exciting as watching paint dry in a snowstorm. Baltimore's backups managed just enough offensive competence to find the end zone once, while Minnesota's second and third-stringers couldn't muster anything beyond a field goal against a Ravens defense that wasn't exactly game-planning exotic blitzes.

DarkHorse nailed the under 37.5, and it was never in doubt. The final 16 combined points landed nearly 22 points south of the number, validating every word of the original reasoning. Neither coaching staff showed a single card from their regular-season deck. Lamar Jackson, Derrick Henry, Justin Jefferson, and Aaron Jones all watched from the sidelines in street clothes or took token first-quarter reps before calling it a night. What followed was exactly what preseason Week 2 delivers: backup quarterbacks checking down, run games going nowhere, and drives stalling in predictable fashion.

This wasn't football—it was a glorified practice with scoreboards. The under didn't just hit; it coasted home with room to spare. Sometimes the sharpest angle is recognizing when nobody's actually trying to score.