Packers Host Cardinals in Preseason Snoozer Nobody Asked For

Week 3 of the preseason is where football dreams go to die, and Friday night's Cardinals-Packers tilt promises all the offensive fireworks of a wet matchbook. Jordan Love logged seven snaps last week and won't sniff the field here. Same story for Arizona's shiny new toys—Marvin Harrison Jr. has been bubble-wrapped, and the Cardinals' backfield is a MASH unit with James Conner and Jeremiyah Love both questionable while Trey Benson nurses his IR stint.

What you're getting instead: third-stringers fighting for practice squad spots, conservative play-calling that would make your grandmother blush, and running games that couldn't crack 3 yards per carry if their roster spots depended on it. Green Bay's backup backs managed a putrid 29 yards on 11 carries last week. Arizona's reserves fared slightly better at 4.75 YPC, but good luck sustaining drives when your quarterback room looks like an open casting call.

The oddsmakers hung 36.5 on this snoozefest, and DarkHorse is hammering the under with 4-out-of-5 confidence. Preseason finales are where points go to die—coaches are evaluating clipboards, not scoreboards. Load up on the under, crack a beer, and enjoy watching future insurance salesmen chase their NFL dreams for two forgettable hours.