Cowboys Torch Cardinals 34-13 as Preseason Under Goes Up in Flames

Well, so much for conservative preseason football. The Cowboys rolled into Arizona and hung 34 points on a Cardinals squad that looked utterly unprepared for even a dress rehearsal, turning our under 37.5 call into expensive confetti. Final score: Dallas 34, Arizona 13.

Our logic was sound on paper—third preseason game, starters on pitch counts, vanilla playbooks, the works. What we didn't account for was Dallas apparently deciding to treat this like a regular-season tune-up while Arizona's defense forgot to show up entirely. The Cowboys offense clicked through multiple units, piling up points against a Cardinals defense that couldn't stop a nosebleed. Arizona's anemic attack, already sputtering without key pieces, managed just 13 points and looked every bit as lifeless as advertised.

The total sailed past 37.5 by nearly ten points, and it wasn't even close in the second half. Sometimes preseason logic gets bulldozed by execution—or lack thereof from Arizona. Dallas looked sharp and motivated; the Cardinals looked like they were already thinking about roster cuts.

Credit where it's due: we whiffed. The under had every reason to hit based on preseason trends and conservative coaching tendencies, but Dallas had other plans. Onto the regular season, where hopefully both teams remember what vanilla actually means.