Preseason Finale Snoozefest: Commanders Visit Baltimore With Rosters Already Set

If you're tuning in for offensive fireworks Friday night, you've come to the wrong place. This preseason finale has all the makings of a defensive coordinator's wet dream and a total bettor's paradise. Baltimore's been stingy as hell through two exhibitions, surrendering just 5.0 points per game while their offense has hummed along at a modest 18.5 PPG. Washington's attack? Even more anemic at 16.5 PPG, and that's before factoring in the multiple offensive weapons sitting out or banged up.

Here's the real kicker: neither coaching staff gives a damn about winning this game. John Harbaugh and Dan Quinn are laser-focused on final roster cuts, which means you'll see vanilla playcalling, conservative game plans, and third-stringers taking meaningful snaps by halftime. Preseason Week 4 is where offensive creativity goes to die, replaced by basic run concepts and checkdowns designed to keep everyone healthy.

DarkHorse is hammering the under 34.0 with solid confidence, and it's hard to argue. With starters wrapped in bubble wrap and both teams playing dress rehearsal for guys fighting for practice squad spots, this total feels inflated by at least a touchdown. Expect a glorified scrimmage that struggles to crack 30 combined points.