Pirates Bash Marlins 13-1 in South Beach Shellacking

The Pirates turned loanDepot Park into their personal batting cage Wednesday night, demolishing the Marlins 13-1 in a game that stopped being competitive somewhere around the third inning. Pittsburgh's offense came alive in Miami's humid air, piling on runs like they were playing slow-pitch softball while the Marlins looked utterly overmatched.

Miami's pitching staff got shelled early and often, unable to retire the Pirates' lineup with any consistency. By the time the damage was done, Pittsburgh had hung a baker's dozen on the scoreboard while the home crowd filed out in droves. The Marlins managed just a single run -- a token effort that felt more like pity than actual offense.

This wasn't a baseball game; it was batting practice with consequences. The Pirates showed up ready to hit anything thrown near the strike zone, and Miami obliged by serving up meatballs all night. When you're losing by twelve runs at home, there's no silver lining to find in the box score.

DarkHorse didn't publish a pick for this one, which in retrospect might've been the smartest play of the night. Sometimes the algorithm knows when chaos is brewing, and Wednesday in Miami was pure bedlam -- just ask the Marlins' pitching staff.