Columbus Hosts Toothless Rapids in Battle of MLS's Offensive Black Holes

Saturday night at Lower.com Field brings us a matchup that'll test the patience of anyone who showed up expecting fireworks. Columbus and Colorado are both mired in offensive quicksand, and this one has all the makings of a slog.

The Rapids limp into town averaging a pathetic 0.43 goals per game on the road—that's not a typo—while their last five matches have produced just 1.6 total goals per contest. They're creating chances (1.57 xG per game) but finishing like they're wearing oven mitts, sitting nearly five goals below expected on the season. When you can't score at home, good luck finding the net in Ohio.

Columbus isn't much better. The Crew are managing just 1.41 goals per game overall and a measly 1.62 at home across eight matches. Their recent form shows 1.4 goals scored over the last five while shipping 2.6, but Colorado's anemic attack makes that leaky defense almost irrelevant.

The market has this tilting over, but the sharp money should be eyeing the under 2.5. Both sides are trending ice-cold in front of goal, and Colorado's road impotence against Columbus's home struggles screams one-goal game or a dreary draw. Don't get cute—take the under and thank us when this ends 1-0 or 0-0.